Still Alive/ Booklet/Job Interview

Hey everyone, Seage is still breathing. Just wanted to show you something!

BAM! My little booklet/resume thing that Miss Parisa helped me make. I've also gotta thank my sister, Odesia, for helping me organize the pages, I was failing hard. Hopefully next time is easier, and I'll go in with a plan, haha.
I made this for my job interview, so I would have something to leave them with, as suggested by my friend and amazing illustrator Charlene Chua. For those of you who don't know, I had an interview at a small gaming company. I don't know the results yet, maybe yes, maybe no, but the interview process was loads of fun, and just going to a studio was nice! I did my best, so hopefully it heeds good results!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As for other updates, I have some rough sketches but i'll post them in my CA Sketchbook.
I did, however, do a sketch of Parisa (thank you for helping me again!!), then played with it in photoshop. And I have the final of a commission collaboration with my friend Tricia Cezair. She did the lines, I painted over em, and tadaaaa.

Anyway, I'll see you all next time with news on whether I got the job or not. Wish me luck :)

My Goals of 2010

Look ma', its another girl!! (Happy with this one,woo!!)

I could have sworn I posted these up. But if so, well, repost!!

I have achieved goal #1, which ties into goal #3, so yay me!!


1. Okay, so first, I want to finally get a freaking job. That would be awesome. Then I could stop stressing (over money issues, and start stressing over over-working issues!)
2. I want to drop a thread in the Finally Finished section. I am petrified of that place, but I really wanna do it. And not just to get 1 comment and 50 crits, then get my thread moved to the crit section of the boards! I want to actually do a good job.
3. Move to Shanghai. This is a personal goal of course, and not too art related. But I first need that job. I'm sure I can learn a lot about art over there too. I'll just look for the right people (like zhuzhu /drool)
4. Smoke everyone i'm currently on par with. I've always been one to love the feeling of advancement, too bad that feeling has become a faint taste on the back of my tongue. I slowed down soooo much and kind of fell into this stylistic comfort zone, which is probably the worst thing that could have happened to me. Although, it stopped me from jumping TOO much, i've realized that, no matter how I approach my stuff, it always ends up looking like i did it...meaning its my natural style...I don't need to force it. Its just up to me how far I want to take it or if I want to limit myself, for an extra stylistic look and blah de blah. Im learning that I cant use this 'style' thing as a shortcut to getting out of rendering things that may intimidate me and so on.

About 'smoking people' I'm getting tired of being looked down on by some people who are around my level of work, as if they're somehow better than me. Its strange like that... Its like, the better artists (that I know, or have emailed) have been VERY humble, and very nice in giving me advice, reviews and whatnot. So are some of the artists around my level, but theres also a lot that seem to have this attitude about them. They treat the better artists so nice and respectfully, but then it comes to me, and it's like 'oh, skip that guy' lol. I figure its because i'm in direct competition with them, and anyone who thinks in that competitive way would see me as a threat...so i guess I can kind of understand, but forget that crap. I want to surpass them, and when they need me later, we'll see what happens. Depending on if i'm still Man-PMSing or not, lol.
5. I plan to make it in art. Its as simple as that. I plan to become better, become KNOWN, and get rid of this soft, pathetic attitude i've been tugging around recently. I just need to get my shit back in gear, and I figured by writing this down, it would help motivate me, so lets do this shit. We're gonna see some big things in 2010, I don't have time to waste (my parents patience is running thin, lol).

New

I have training for my new job today. I wonder what that will be like. I'm just saving money for my goals. I have things that need replacing, paying off and whatnot, so I'm excited at the idea of finally getting that odd my plate. My ultimate goal seems so near, how great is that...just gotta keep my head up, stop being a bitch, and do the job that I've been lucky enough to get. I know though, that the harder I work, the more money I will make, meaning, I can work less, so thats a good incentive. Lets do the best I can...I guess thats always the final plan, right?

Thursday Mursday

Ow, updater. Im gonna finish this today. I'll try not to waste time, just be efficient, damn it!

I found some pictures of me as a child, i'll upload those later for a laugh, haha.

More Painting with Peeling!

Some stuffs for a movie thing I may be working on

Fun fun.

Paint wit' Peeling!

Yeahhhhhhhh, so talked to some amazing people, got some great inspiration, and a new direction. I'll do a write up about that later, but im happier now, hopefully my work will show a deeper story, and be more than just a pretty shell. :)

Did my Imagination Pack up and Leave?

I've been feeling down lately... Not so much art blocked, as creatively blocked.

Ive been having a few conversations on msn about it, so I figured I would drop some sections from my conversations. All things that I have said. This will be a little confusing to read, but...yeah, here goes.

(Italics' are responses from different friends to what I said)

~~~~~~~~~

Seage says:

i feel like i lost my imagination

i have no stories to tell anymore

i remember when i was young

i could sit on the floor with my fingers, or a toy car, come up with this amazing story in my head and just play for hours and hours alone

having so much fun

because there was a whole world that i could see

but now, its like nothing...i sit here and get no fun ideas...

maybe i need toys again to stimulate my imagination?

maybe trying to write a book?

what the hell!!

Seage, it's because you have grown up. Everyone grows up and loses their stories.

Seage says:

not everyone

the greatest artists keep their stories

I think society tells us to forget about imagination, to let other things do it for us, like tv, or games or whatever. They sell imagination to us, in a way

its not really nurtured

when you are little, your parents enjoy your stories

and urge you to make more

as you get older, people dont want to hear it anymore

they think its not a real skill

because there are more important things like maths and sciences

i think, while focusing on the academic side, we lose our creative side...

yeah ...

because we have grown up. We need to make money so we don't make the time to use our imagination

Seage says:

thats probably why people are so miserable

and why creative people are happier

look at the world of harry potter for instance

JK Rowling created that

all in her head

now shes one of the richest people in the world

she used creativity to make that money

yeah

But not everyone can do that. Even if he/she is also creative

Seage says:

of course

BUT

the fact that she did it shows that it IS POSSIBLE

not everyone can ride a bike

not everyone can swim

but some people, can, right?

yeah

As impossible as it feels right now, I think there is a way to get it back, but i'm so lost as to how to do it. In my work, I want to tell a story, Im tired of creating empty shells. Doing art based on nothing or extremely shallow feelings. I noticed that some of the greats arent there because of their fantastic rendering (although that helps) but its because of their interesting story telling. They create something new and tie in meaning. They truely paint with their heart. They convey emotion and express themselves. Why am I not like this?

I need some advice...maybe someone out there has gone through this and overcome it, or maybe some of you are going through the same thing. I love to hear from you all. Maybe figure this whole thing out.

Thanks for reading.

CJ~